Trauma, Theurgy and A Pearly Goddess with Frater OD

Untitled project from SquadCast

===

[00:00:00] Hello, everybody. It's me. And you know what this means. When you hear me at the beginning of the podcast, it means I had an audio problem. Yay. Just kidding. I'm not excited about it. So you'll notice an Amy episode. , there's a little bit of echo-y NIS. I apologize for that. It was totally my fault.

[00:00:19] So I'm so sorry everybody about the echo-y ness. I did my best to try to fix it up. Anyway. Listen to a show. I just like to always apologize when I don't do my best job. So thank you though. Everybody. Frat or Odie was such an awesome guest. We had such a good time.

[00:00:35] I literally could have probably talked to him for another like four hours. But that would make this show way too long. So enjoy this show, everybody.

[00:00:45] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Okay, hello, and welcome everybody to Dine with Divine. I'm Ashley, your host, and as always, we'll be talking about the magical, the mystical, and everything in between. So on today's episode, we'll be talking a little bit about [00:01:00] the as most of these episodes, some magic stuff, and then we'll be talking a little bit about Aphrodite.

[00:01:06] So I hope everybody's having a great week. And if not, I hope it gets better soon. Today, as usual, we have a absolutely fantastic guest. We have Frater OD. He is an occult philosopher, author, and creator of Magic Circles and Azoth Quest Publishing, an eclectic pagan magician, and syncretic, which basically a bowl of omelette soup with hot sauce on top. That's very cute. How are you doing today? It's

[00:01:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm doing great. It's a

[00:01:38] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a Saturday morning. Spring is upon us.

[00:01:41] It's a wonderful time to be alive. We had a pretty mild one here

[00:01:53] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: neck

[00:01:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: in my neck of the woods, and It wasn't terrible.

[00:01:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but I think that means

[00:01:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: But I think that means we'll probably get some spring and [00:02:00] early

[00:02:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Maybe early

[00:02:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Maybe early summer. Our seasons are strange here.

[00:02:03] But

[00:02:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: we might get a nice big dumping here right around

[00:02:06] my

[00:02:07] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: We have my garden, so it'll probably kill everything. . Yeah. The, I know I'm having trying to figure out when I'm gonna start planting stuff because sometime like last year, I think I started around this time.

[00:02:19] Oops, things are moving. I thought I started around this time, but it's really cold where I am. It's like this morning. It's like 38 degrees. So I'm not planting anything. Yeah, everything's gonna die and then we had like two yeah, and then we had like two days where it was like 72 degrees two weeks ago and now it's back to being 38 degrees every morning.

[00:02:39] So I don't know I'll wait till mother's day probably i'll just wait till then anyway now that we've all discussed our gardening

[00:02:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: show.

[00:02:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Yeah, we could actually do it. I love i'm not like a good gardener, but I like to garden so people are like, oh, tell me about your garden. I'm like, I don't know. I plant stuff and I just pray about it.

[00:02:59] [00:03:00] Like, I just hope things grow. I don't know. I'm not like advanced, but it's fun, right? It's like a little experiment. It's a good time. I feel you. It's great. It's great

[00:03:11] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: your

[00:03:11] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: for your spirit. It's great for your soul, great for the body too. You're grounding, getting your feet in the dirt.

[00:03:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm not that

[00:03:17] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm not that great at it either.

[00:03:20] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: last

[00:03:20] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Last year, and I had a little area to plant in, not too much.

[00:03:24] And so I do a lot of wildflowers, help the

[00:03:27] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: out

[00:03:29] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And last year, I had a bunch of bindweed get in

[00:03:33] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: To the

[00:03:33] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to the garden.

[00:03:35] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:03:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And I chose not to fight it.

[00:03:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: instead.

[00:03:37] I

[00:03:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I chose to watch it.

[00:03:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:03:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: see how the wildflowers and the weeds did together and what happened.

[00:03:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: who

[00:03:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Who was able to survive and who wasn't.

[00:03:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And it

[00:03:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it would turn into kind of a meditative exercise where I was like looking at them and going,

[00:03:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: What

[00:03:52] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: what do you have to teach me?

[00:03:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: What

[00:03:55] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is it that I can learn from this experience? And then.

[00:03:58] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Of

[00:03:58] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Of course, at the end of the year, in [00:04:00] the harvest season, I harvested some weeds.

[00:04:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm

[00:04:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: You're like, oh, okay, perhaps I need to be doing some binding magic I don't know, I understand that like weeds aren't great but sometimes like they're all right. Sometimes you leave them once in a while and they just sit there and it's okay but I don't know.

[00:04:19] Especially like dandelions are weeds but they're also you can eat them like they're also fantastic so I don't know.

[00:04:30] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Yeah, and I

[00:04:30] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: and I think that's the thing we try to manicure the world right.

[00:04:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: trying to

[00:04:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: When we're gardening, we're trying to

[00:04:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: force

[00:04:38] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: nature to do what we want it to do. And nature pushes back. Yes.

[00:04:42] And being aware of those cycles is vital to what I think the magical experience is all about.

[00:04:50] Paying attention to those cycles,

[00:04:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: being

[00:04:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: present with it in that moment, and

[00:04:56] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: seeing what it

[00:04:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: what it has to teach you.

[00:04:58] Yes.

[00:04:58] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: uh,

[00:04:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: [00:05:00] the weeds are something that we've decided are bad. But

[00:05:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[00:05:05] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: magical praxis, we're always,

[00:05:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: We're

[00:05:07] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: we're trying to figure out like,

[00:05:09] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: what's the

[00:05:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the most powerful weed or herb that I need for this spell.

[00:05:14] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: More

[00:05:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: often than not, we're forgetting that the local flora

[00:05:18] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[00:05:18] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: our area

[00:05:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: is

[00:05:20] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: more intrinsically linked with us

[00:05:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:05:22] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: our magic and what we're doing because it's close to us.

[00:05:27] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that we

[00:05:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: we should be using that instead of trying to get as much High John the Conqueror root as possible.

[00:05:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Like, unless

[00:05:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Like, unless that grows in your area,

[00:05:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: or it's

[00:05:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: where it's a very specific need, like, when we're

[00:05:38] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: finding an

[00:05:39] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: an herb,

[00:05:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: something that

[00:05:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that grows in our own garden

[00:05:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Is

[00:05:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is going to be more effective in our practice than finding the most exotic thing.

[00:05:49] Yeah. And I think we forget about that. Yeah, for sure. I totally agree. I was just, I'm a big proponent of whatever you have around you just [00:06:00] use that. Because Exactly, yeah, because , I used to totally be like, I have to by Palo Santo and Copa and this and that, and look, if I can get my hands on it, and it's I don't feel.

[00:06:13] Then I found out about all the harvesting of the palo santo, so I don't really use that anymore, but If I can get my hands on some copal, I love copal. It smells really good. But if I have rosemary growing in the back, I just use that

[00:06:24] like

[00:06:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Exactly

[00:06:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: if I don't, I'm not, if I don't have to order it, you know I don't have to think about where it came from because I know exactly where it came from.

[00:06:33] It's fine. Yeah, like the gods are not gonna be mad at me like I've changed my mind about this herb. Like I think they'll be fine.

[00:06:41] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:06:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I think so too. Yeah. They, that's another thing that's played up all the time, right? . Oh, gods are mad at me. Are you sure? , are you sure about that?

[00:06:52] Do you think they made me have bigger fish to fry ? I don't know. I was, it was shocking to my [00:07:00] coworker yesterday. Who is, she's very religious. She's a Christian. And sometimes it's very annoying, but this particular moment, it was very funny. She was just like, Oh, whatever. She has this very, she's very performative about her faith, which is annoying, but anyway, I digress.

[00:07:15] So she's We were talking about somebody who we were all like, Oh, this person is very attracted. And she was like, Oh my God. Yes, he's attractive, but I can't think that. Oh my God. I don't want God to be mad at me. I was like, have you read the news? I think he's really busy. I don't, he's worried if you think this singer is.

[00:07:35] Our sense of self importance can be inflated in such cases maybe, and I think we all do it. We, despite how enlightened some of us may think we are,

[00:07:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: we're

[00:07:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: We're still the center of the universe. Yes. [00:08:00] We try and try to not be that way.

[00:08:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[00:08:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And in many ways that is as just, as you said,

[00:08:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: performative,

[00:08:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Yeah, exactly. But when it comes down to it,

[00:08:09] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: at the

[00:08:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: at the end of the day,

[00:08:12] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:08:12] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the center of my experience is me, and so I'm

[00:08:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: just

[00:08:19] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: just like locked into those experiences all the time. Like, we think things.

[00:08:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Because it's

[00:08:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it's our only frame of reference. Oh no, Aphrodite's mad at me.

[00:08:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Probably

[00:08:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Probably not, dude. It's not that important. It's like that quote that people say like, people don't think about you as much as you think they do.

[00:08:50] Like, so when you're like, yeah, when you're like, Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. Like this person is going to remember this really embarrassing thing I did. Like nobody remembers. You remember because you were [00:09:00] embarrassed and that's okay. But like nobody else gave a shit. Like,

[00:09:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Exactly, and

[00:09:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Yeah.

[00:09:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Nobody

[00:09:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: sees you the way that you see you.

[00:09:10] Yes.

[00:09:11] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: The

[00:09:11] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: The you that you see every day in the mirror and in your own story and imagination

[00:09:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: is

[00:09:17] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is nothing like what they are seeing. Yes.

[00:09:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:09:20] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: The story that they've invented about you, right? Yes. We're the hero of our own story, right? Yes. We're the hero, and sometimes the villain. I don't know about that, maybe, but Yeah.

[00:09:29] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[00:09:29] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: In everybody else's story, we're a sidekick,

[00:09:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: maybe a

[00:09:33] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a mentor, if we're lucky.

[00:09:35] Sometimes a villain,

[00:09:36] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but

[00:09:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: but more often than not,

[00:09:38] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: we're the

[00:09:38] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: we're the guy gardening. In the spring. We're not even there, we're an extra. There's just, like, I was just that person that you saw that day, you're like, that's wild. Like, like, when you think about people,

[00:09:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: what she's doing

[00:09:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that's crazy.

[00:09:57] And then you moved on with your day. And you [00:10:00] created a whole story about how I went and told all my friends about the crazy thing you did. And maybe I told one person. And then I moved on. Let's all just take a big breath and relax. Why are we taking, and this is one of my favorite quotes, Why are we taking this thing that we experience so seriously

[00:10:31] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: when

[00:10:31] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it's obvious that the gods made it for fun?

[00:10:34] You

[00:10:34] know what? Facts. Honestly, that's you ain't never, you ain't never lied. Because, I feel like, they're up there just looking,

[00:10:43] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: were true.

[00:10:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: At least about this fact. They're literally looking at us like, these people are wild down there. Oh my god, I love when people [00:11:00] talk about that because I really do think that if there's like other there probably are if there's like aliens and stuff out there and they're watching us.

[00:11:06] They're like these fucking humans

[00:11:12] They get worried they have wars and then they worry about fake butts like it's weird

[00:11:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: We do. We get upset about the dumbest stuff.

[00:11:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Like, we have full, like, culture wars about the weirdest things, and then we have real military wars. It's like, like, what is going on? It's like, there's genocide happening over there, but you know what we need to stop? This latest celebrity trend. Or, we need to put a stop to TikTok.

[00:11:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm

[00:11:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm not the biggest fan of TikTok

[00:11:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: personally,

[00:11:50] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: but

[00:11:51] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I don't

[00:11:52] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I don't think it's our biggest issue, but I guess that's for somebody else to prioritize. It's not really in my role or my [00:12:00] wheelhouse, so I'm gonna stick to my side of the street.

[00:12:13] Frater, I wanted to ask you, how did you go how did you become the person you are today and involved in magic and your spiritual path? How did this all happen for you?

[00:12:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It

[00:12:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: all started in a dark and stormy night, way

[00:12:31] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Way

[00:12:31] when

[00:12:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: in the 1980s, before we had the internet.

[00:12:38] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and,

[00:12:39] no It

[00:12:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it is funny though, I reflect on that quite often as I'm

[00:12:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: soon

[00:12:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to be in my 40s and I say

[00:12:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: wow,

[00:12:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the world's changed a lot.

[00:12:50] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:12:51] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I've been through quite a bit in my 39 years,

[00:12:54] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Battling

[00:12:55] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: addiction, those sorts of things in my life. But

[00:12:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm in

[00:12:58] myself.

[00:12:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: [00:13:00] and, uh, magic has been a critical part of that

[00:13:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So has my

[00:13:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: spiritual journey.

[00:13:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Part

[00:13:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: of what I think suffering has been for me is a

[00:13:08] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: self

[00:13:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: generated experiment.

[00:13:11] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: where

[00:13:13] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I have produced

[00:13:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: excess

[00:13:15] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: amounts of suffering in my life

[00:13:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: on

[00:13:19] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: on my own self, like inflicted on myself

[00:13:23] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: More,

[00:13:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: more often than not, because

[00:13:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:13:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: wasn't gifted, and this is going to sound really terrible, by the way,

[00:13:30] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:13:31] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I wasn't gifted with a ton of trauma

[00:13:33] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: growing

[00:13:34] I

[00:13:34] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I had a pretty white picket fence life,

[00:13:38] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and I

[00:13:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I think a part of the experience of being human is to experience suffering.

[00:13:45] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It

[00:13:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: pushes us into states of growth,

[00:13:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: When

[00:13:49] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: and we're comfortable, we're complacent, and many of us in this world,

[00:13:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: We're not experiencing the same level of challenge or [00:14:00] difficulty as we would have

[00:14:01] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: maybe,

[00:14:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: You

[00:14:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Even a few decades back, we're very comfortable. We're gifted with all of these godlike technologies.

[00:14:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I mean I

[00:14:12] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I can get a book that was produced in the

[00:14:16] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: 15th

[00:14:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: century a specific piece of magic for myself.

[00:14:24] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: To

[00:14:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: through my door

[00:14:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: by

[00:14:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: 3 p. m. today. That's true.

[00:14:31] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:14:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: yet I'm going to complain

[00:14:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: about the

[00:14:34] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the trauma of my life.

[00:14:37] And I'm not belittling trauma, and I'm not

[00:14:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: saying that

[00:14:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that people don't have negative experiences

[00:14:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that there

[00:14:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: or that there isn't pain in our life, right?

[00:14:45] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: But

[00:14:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: most of what I have experienced is my life.

[00:14:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: has

[00:14:50] my

[00:14:50] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: resistance to pain, my resistance to emotions

[00:14:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that

[00:14:55] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: come up, and that has generated the suffering and the trauma that [00:15:00] I've experienced in my life.

[00:15:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Essentially, it's

[00:15:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: on me more often than not.

[00:15:08] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:15:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: The pain could be from you, right? Or someone else. You could inflict pain on me for sure.

[00:15:14] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but

[00:15:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that, my choosing to resent it. To replay it,

[00:15:20] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[00:15:20] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: keep it,

[00:15:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[00:15:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to hold it, to put a bunch of stones of trauma in my backpack and carry it around. That's on me. And

[00:15:28] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: This is

[00:15:28] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: where this is going is, I accumulated a lot of stones.

[00:15:33] Because I felt different. I felt

[00:15:35] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: strange

[00:15:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: in this world.

[00:15:38] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And I

[00:15:39] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I couldn't quite Connect with people. Yeah.

[00:15:43] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:15:43] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I put on a lot of faces and I learned very early in life that if I wear a couple of masks, I can fit in. Yeah. But it wasn't me.

[00:15:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:15:52] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And I didn't really know who that me was.

[00:15:56] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So

[00:15:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I developed masks and [00:16:00] over time, that lie generated a sense of self loathing.

[00:16:08] Confusion

[00:16:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:16:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: drove me into different states of

[00:16:13] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: either

[00:16:13] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: seeking out

[00:16:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: things

[00:16:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that would dull that pain, whether that's substance or,

[00:16:20] Even sexuality just any number of things to take my mind off of it.

[00:16:24] Yeah.

[00:16:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And I

[00:16:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I think it's something that we all do. It's coping, right? Absolutely. Yeah. You're like, go harder, bro. Yeah! And so I did. And so spirituality

[00:16:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: was

[00:16:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a soothing balm to that, right?

[00:16:42] I've always had

[00:16:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:16:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the divine in my life.

[00:16:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:16:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I don't think I ever,

[00:16:48] Growing up,

[00:16:50] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:16:50] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: The family was in the church.

[00:16:51] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Grew

[00:16:52] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: up evangelical went to Baptist school.

[00:16:54] I Grew up as many of us do in the Western world in the Christian [00:17:00] current. And From there, I learned a lot, yeah

[00:17:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but I

[00:17:05] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I also have a certain amount of religious trauma as many of us do. I couldn't put together the pieces of How can you have this loving God that's going to send me to hell for

[00:17:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: touching

[00:17:15] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: myself?

[00:17:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Like,

[00:17:17] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I don't, that doesn't compute.

[00:17:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And it

[00:17:19] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it never computed for a small child either.

[00:17:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And so

[00:17:22] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I grew up with night terrors.

[00:17:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I,

[00:17:26] Was

[00:17:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: was constantly battling demons and things like this in my sleep.

[00:17:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Trying

[00:17:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to reconcile the doctrine and dogma of my domesticated religion. Yes.

[00:17:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:17:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that's something that I think a lot of us go through

[00:17:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[00:17:43] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: varying degrees, right?

[00:17:44] Yeah, absolutely. And so as I grew up I challenged that and I said Is that the thing that I want my life to be based on? Yeah.

[00:17:54] Is

[00:17:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: a

[00:17:55] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a doctrine or a dogma that says

[00:17:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: God's

[00:17:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: upset [00:18:00] with me.

[00:18:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: For

[00:18:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: being me. Yeah.

[00:18:02] And so I continued on and

[00:18:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:18:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I did my religious thing. I was active in the church

[00:18:08] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: until I

[00:18:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I was 23.

[00:18:10] . And I decided to get baptized. . Now to my parents' credit. They never forced any of the religion on me, right?

[00:18:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Took

[00:18:17] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: they took us to church and whatever. But they never baptized me. They wanted me to have that experience for myself.

[00:18:23] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: if I

[00:18:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I wanted.

[00:18:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:18:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And I'm in college. I'm 23.

[00:18:29] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:18:30] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: do an entire documentary, because I'm in film school.

[00:18:32] About my 40 days of Lent.

[00:18:36] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Where

[00:18:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I gave up everything.

[00:18:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: booze smokes

[00:18:41] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: sex, everything even masturbation, like the whole thing and

[00:18:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I was

[00:18:49] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: baptized after that 40 days.

[00:18:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:18:52] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: oddly enough, was the end of it.

[00:18:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Like[00:19:00]

[00:19:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: going that deep in

[00:19:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: almost

[00:19:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: liberated me from

[00:19:06] The trauma. The religious resentment That I had towards christianity

[00:19:13] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:19:13] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: gave me the freedom to explore everything else nice, it was almost like a

[00:19:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: at

[00:19:20] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the end of it, j man was like bro Time to explore some other stuff.

[00:19:25] Yeah It's all the same You don't have to stick in one

[00:19:30] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[00:19:30] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: one lane the rest of your life. Yeah

[00:19:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:19:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: so I moved on and I explored, Taoism and

[00:19:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Zen

[00:19:38] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Buddhism in my twenties, along with some Native American spirituality, explored some of those ancestral roots.

[00:19:45] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:19:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: from there I think in my late twenties, I went through an agnostic phase where I said, I'm going to live totally in this state.

[00:19:55] material world

[00:19:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:19:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: not worry about this spiritual thing [00:20:00] anymore.

[00:20:01] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And somewhere

[00:20:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: in my early 30s, maybe even late 20s, there was something calling to me

[00:20:09] calling to wake up, I dove so deep into the material that I'd forgotten about that other aspect of me. Yeah. And this is at a time in my life where I'm at my deepest in addiction

[00:20:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:20:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: deepest into suffering too.

[00:20:27] I was in a deep,

[00:20:29] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:20:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I woke up

[00:20:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:20:35] something's got

[00:20:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: got to change. And so I brought myself back into the spirit,

[00:20:41] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: got

[00:20:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: myself sober. And went on a spiritual quest of sorts and started exploring things that I never thought I would,

[00:20:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: You

[00:20:50] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Coming out of Christianity,

[00:20:51] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: deconstructing,

[00:20:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: studying some of the East,

[00:20:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: some

[00:20:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: of the West and the Native American, I'd left out [00:21:00] a huge swath of traditions in the European

[00:21:06] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: framework,

[00:21:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: right?

[00:21:07] Yeah. Which is where most of my ancestry comes from.

[00:21:13] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:21:13] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: as I'm opening up this path,

[00:21:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm

[00:21:17] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm sitting in the hot springs up in the mountains,

[00:21:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:21:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: and I'm like

[00:21:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: There's

[00:21:22] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: there's three things you need to do in your life. This just comes to me. You need to explore your ancestral roots,

[00:21:30] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that's

[00:21:31] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: That's the first piece of what kind of came to me as integrated spirituality.

[00:21:35] Yeah.

[00:21:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: You

[00:21:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: You need to explore your ancestral roots, what's in your blood, what's in your bones, what's in your physical form. The people that came before you are still attached to you in some way.

[00:21:49] Yeah.

[00:21:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:21:49] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And they had different traditions. Many of them may have been Christian, right? Yeah, quite a while.

[00:21:54] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but

[00:21:55] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: But before that.

[00:21:56] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: what

[00:21:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: What

[00:21:56] were they?

[00:21:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: What

[00:21:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: What did they believe?

[00:21:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: What

[00:21:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: What did [00:22:00] your ancestors do?

[00:22:01] Yeah.

[00:22:01] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So I

[00:22:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: So I started exploring that and that took me to

[00:22:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:22:05] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Ireland, to England, to

[00:22:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:22:07] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the Norse,

[00:22:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[00:22:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to Germany,

[00:22:12] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:22:13] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I started exploring some of that

[00:22:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: neo

[00:22:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: pagan reconstructionist stuff that we have going on right now.

[00:22:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:22:20] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And that led me into, okay,

[00:22:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: oh, I don't

[00:22:22] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I don't know.

[00:22:23] Do I want to explore witchcraft? Ooh, that could be taboo. I don't know.

[00:22:29] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Still

[00:22:29] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Still got, as you can tell, still have a little bit of that Christian upbringing clean. Like, ooh,

[00:22:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: don't

[00:22:34] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I don't know. Do I want to offend God?

[00:22:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:22:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: so I started exploring.

[00:22:40] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:22:41] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it opened up door

[00:22:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: door

[00:22:43] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: From exploring witchcraft.

[00:22:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[00:22:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Moving into ceremonial magic,

[00:22:48] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to joining an

[00:22:49] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: joining an order or two or three. And then getting to where I'm largely a solitary [00:23:00] practitioner.

[00:23:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I have

[00:23:01] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I have a couple of magical

[00:23:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: partners that I

[00:23:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: with

[00:23:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: on

[00:23:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: on certain things,

[00:23:06] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: But,

[00:23:07] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: of course,

[00:23:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: mum is

[00:23:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is the word when it comes to magic. Yes. You're cute. To know, to dare, and to keep silence,

[00:23:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[00:23:15] And

[00:23:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Today a lot of it is solitary, and I'm very eclectic about my practice.

[00:23:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:23:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I don't stick to one lane,

[00:23:23] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Which

[00:23:23] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: irritates a lot of people. I'm sure some people could see some of the things I do as appropriating in different ways.

[00:23:34] But I'm always respectful about where I get

[00:23:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:23:38] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: praxis that I include.

[00:23:40] Yeah. Or explore.

[00:23:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: There are

[00:23:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: are certain things that are restricted, right?

[00:23:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:23:47] If

[00:23:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: if it's not printed in a book somewhere, and it's held behind

[00:23:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: a

[00:23:52] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a traditions oral tradition, or a particular mentor, and

[00:23:58] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:23:58] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I really need to have that [00:24:00] experience, then I'll go seek it out. Yeah.

[00:24:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: If

[00:24:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it's available to me,

[00:24:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: then

[00:24:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: perhaps it'll become a part of my future path.

[00:24:09] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: But,

[00:24:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: um, in a world where there's so much information

[00:24:14] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: available

[00:24:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to us about this tradition or that tradition,

[00:24:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:24:19] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: do think that each one of us is so I don't like the word unique,

[00:24:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but

[00:24:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: but we are in our own ways.

[00:24:30] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: That

[00:24:30] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to choose just one thing for the rest of your life and limit your experience to that one thing is doing yourself a disservice.

[00:24:44] And

[00:24:45] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: over

[00:24:45] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the course of my studies, a lot of things do blend well. Not everything, mind you.

[00:24:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Some

[00:24:52] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: things just,

[00:24:53] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: they

[00:24:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: don't play nice. But

[00:24:56] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: yeah.

[00:24:58] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Too long. Didn't read.

[00:24:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:24:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I do [00:25:00] magic and stuff.

[00:25:05] Oh, that's what that means. TLDR.

[00:25:09] Oh my. Do you know? Okay, sorry. We're gonna talk about all the very important. Years . You were today years old. I was today years old because I always see, like, I know that the TLDR means like the summary, but I never knew exactly what it meant and I always meant to Google it and I never just did because I'll be reading a Reddit post and I'll be like, what the fuck is TLDR?

[00:25:28] But whatever. I was like, I just, long didn't read. Now I get it. Oh my god. Wow. That's really sad. Okay, . It's terrible. Okay. You know what? . You're teachable. In Zen, they call that the beginner's mind. It's critical

[00:25:48] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[00:25:48] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: keep your entire life, right? More often than not, we get into the story about how we are the expert, right?

[00:25:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: We

[00:25:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: know so much, right? [00:26:00] And you see this in line in occult or spiritual communities.

[00:26:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Where

[00:26:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: people are like jockeying for who's the smartest. Yes.

[00:26:09] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's

[00:26:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: so ego driven.

[00:26:12] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:26:12] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I almost dislike using that term anymore

[00:26:16] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: because

[00:26:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it's so overused,

[00:26:18] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but

[00:26:18] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: It's performative, like you said before.

[00:26:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's,

[00:26:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm insecure.

[00:26:23] So I'm gonna show you how smart I am

[00:26:27] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: so

[00:26:28] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that you can't possibly come back at me with anything to make me feel small exactly But

[00:26:35] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: if

[00:26:36] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: we can remain childlike,

[00:26:38] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in a awe, wow,

[00:26:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Or teachable

[00:26:43] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: like a

[00:26:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: like a beginner who's just eager to learn.

[00:26:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Then

[00:26:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: We don't have to worry about any of that. Yes. This is what I'm saying because I always tell people, like I, and I saw somebody else put this on like threads the other day, but I agree with [00:27:00] this person. I'm the kind of person that, like, I wanna talk to everybody about their fa, their passion.

[00:27:05] Like even if it's something, I don't know what it is, I wanna know, I wanna learn from them. So like if I meet somebody and they're like, you know what? I fucking love fishing. I'm like, tell me about it. I'm like I want to know like what do you love about fishing? What's different about your different fishing hooks?

[00:27:24] Where do you go to fish? What time do you go to fit like? because I don't feel like you're ever done learning number one

[00:27:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: No,

[00:27:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: about anything and yeah, and I always say like I am literally an expert in nothing. I like to be You Like a jack of all trades in a way But like I like to know a little bit about everything so people always make fun of me cuz they're like Oh, you know so many random facts.

[00:27:47] I'm like, yeah, why don't you like don't aren't you interested in fucking everything?

[00:27:54] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Aren't you looking at this place that we're in that has so many things

[00:27:58] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Exactly don't you just want

[00:27:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: [00:28:00] like, what is that? What is that? What is that? What is that?

[00:28:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Exactly. I love to know at least a little bit about everything. , I used to shit on myself when I was a kid because I'd be like, I'm not really good.

[00:28:11] Yeah, exactly. That's true. I think we did. I used to say all the time, I'm not really good. At anything. I'm not. the best Violin player i'm not i don't not the best student Like I was always a decent student and I was a decent violin player and I was a decent this But i'm like not an expert in anything and now that i'm older I'm, like maybe that's just who I am and that's who I was supposed to be because I just like to know different things about everything.

[00:28:36] And I don't want to be an expert. I want to learn from different people. Because just like you're saying, there's so much knowledge to be gained from people who know a lot about something. So I'll meet somebody who knows a lot about something, and I'll take something from that. And then I'll be like, oh, I'm really interested in the subject.

[00:28:53] I'll read a little bit about it. And like, huh, now I know something about that. I just like knowing. Because now when I meet someone else, yeah, and they [00:29:00] want to talk to me about it, I'll be like, Oh, I know this part about that. You tell me how you feel about it. And then I learn more. It's so fun. I know. I love it.

[00:29:10] People need to calm down. Just do that too. This is a show this. Yeah,

[00:29:14] exactly.

[00:29:16] It's stupid. It's dumb. Don't limit yourself. Okay, back to everything you said. Let's go back because that was very important. Your story is very interesting. I love how you're talking about how like, I understand exactly what you mean too.

[00:29:34] I don't think you're being weird by saying that, but trauma and our struggles do make us in a way. That's what challenges our thinking and everything like you were saying. And I think also when you get to a point to in like your spiritual journey when you were talking about like how you got did the whole length thing and you baptized and then you're like actually I'm done with that like I feel like that's like I feel like that's so interesting you're [00:30:00] like at that point you had gone as far as you were going to go with that journey.

[00:30:05] It just let you go. It was like, there you go, girl. Like, yeah, it was not what I was expecting. I was really wanting to dive deeper and

[00:30:16] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:30:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: produced this

[00:30:18] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: almost

[00:30:20] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: artificial experiment.

[00:30:22] All experiments are artificial, but

[00:30:24] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: No

[00:30:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: nature experiments.

[00:30:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:30:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: there's no dichotomy there.

[00:30:27] Oh,

[00:30:27] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: so i'm

[00:30:28] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm feeling so dualistic right now. What am I doing? It's not my way.

[00:30:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Um, I

[00:30:33] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: tried to generate an experience that would drive me deeper into my faith. Yeah.

[00:30:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:30:39] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it produced just that, but not in the way I was thinking. Yes. And now this is how magic works.

[00:30:48] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:30:48] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I don't, I didn't understand that the ritual that I was going into was going to generate exactly the experience I needed.

[00:30:59] [00:31:00] Yes. I was caught up

[00:31:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[00:31:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: what I thought

[00:31:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:31:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the end result would be.

[00:31:08] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Now,

[00:31:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: have I been, like, trans, like,

[00:31:13] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: what's the

[00:31:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the word?

[00:31:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Dead

[00:31:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: set,

[00:31:18] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: on,

[00:31:19] Going

[00:31:19] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to seminary after that.

[00:31:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:31:22] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: becoming a priest or a pastor or whatever,

[00:31:28] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:31:28] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: might have generated more suffering for myself.

[00:31:33] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Instead I was able

[00:31:34] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I was able to be with the process,

[00:31:38] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Understand that

[00:31:39] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that this was the outcome,

[00:31:40] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and then

[00:31:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: then continue my journey and explore more. Yes. Which deepened

[00:31:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:31:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: helped me understand more about my domesticated faith

[00:31:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that

[00:31:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: was given to me by my parents, right? Yes. And that's the second piece, I never got to that, about integrated spirituality. [00:32:00] You explore your roots

[00:32:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but

[00:32:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: then you heal your trauma of your domesticated religion.

[00:32:06] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Everybody's

[00:32:07] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: given something through domestication, right? Your parents do their best job to give you something to work with. And a lot of people don't like that statement either, but

[00:32:16] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: My

[00:32:17] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: philosophy is that everybody's doing the best they can with the tools they have.

[00:32:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: just

[00:32:22] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Some people are

[00:32:23] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: some people are working

[00:32:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: working with Fisher Price.

[00:32:24] They've got the big box. Yeah. Healing that religious trauma is your responsibility.

[00:32:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: You

[00:32:34] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: can't blame it for the rest your life. Not and live free of it.

[00:32:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:32:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: This is one of the biggest

[00:32:41] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: with

[00:32:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: challenges with deconstruction. If you want to leave your domesticated religion,

[00:32:50] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: you

[00:32:50] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: you can't live the rest of your life fighting it.

[00:32:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: You

[00:32:55] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: You need to let it go. and heal from.

[00:32:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:32:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: [00:33:00] that's the challenge with healing, right? Yes. Particularly in this world

[00:33:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that

[00:33:06] generated

[00:33:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: online with

[00:33:08] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So

[00:33:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: many plastic shamans and gurus

[00:33:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and that

[00:33:11] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: keep you locked into Forever healing. Because why? Because it generates another tail. Financial capitalism, baby.

[00:33:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's the best thing you're

[00:33:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: sick.

[00:33:27] Forever.

[00:33:28] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's

[00:33:28] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: It's financial pharmaceuticals, baby. It's like when I went and, when I went and explored Energy healing.

[00:33:38] And I did all the Reiki Attunements and I got my

[00:33:43] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Reiki

[00:33:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: mastery and

[00:33:45] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:33:45] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: all that and Reiki really is a beautiful meditative tradition. Oh, yes

[00:33:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: path,

[00:33:51] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: beautiful

[00:33:52] Still use it regularly But when I started it and then I started like working with other people [00:34:00] in a healing capacity What I found out Was because I wasn't looking for them to come back They came to me once or twice.

[00:34:13] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: No, he

[00:34:13] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: never came back.

[00:34:16] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: now.

[00:34:17] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: had I been like, Oh, you know what? That chakra is still really tight. We

[00:34:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: better

[00:34:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: better get you back in here.

[00:34:23] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Then

[00:34:23] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: they'd be coming back forever. Yes.

[00:34:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: There's

[00:34:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: There's no healing.

[00:34:28] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: because

[00:34:28] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm generating an experience for them irresponsibly, by the way,

[00:34:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: by

[00:34:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: stating that I think.

[00:34:38] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: as the

[00:34:39] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the person with more knowledge,

[00:34:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that

[00:34:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: you need to come back to me

[00:34:45] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: because

[00:34:45] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I think

[00:34:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that

[00:34:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: your chakras are misaligned.

[00:34:49] It's deceptive as hell. Regardless of what my energy field might be picking up and my training might be picking up within you,

[00:34:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: it

[00:34:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is [00:35:00] not my responsibility to heal that for them. Perhaps illuminating it in some way It's so often you see this within healing that there is no healing occurring. Yeah.

[00:35:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: There

[00:35:15] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is trauma bonding.

[00:35:18] There is trauma comparison, which is

[00:35:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: one

[00:35:22] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: of the funniest things that I've ever seen in my life.

[00:35:25] And again, that's another one that's going to get me in trouble with a lot of people listening to us. Trauma's not funny.

[00:35:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: But

[00:35:34] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Trauma competitions

[00:35:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Trauma competitions

[00:35:38] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: are. It's like, Watching it from afar and you go. And we get to do this online this voyeuristic culture that we've created, where we get to watch people have trauma competitions and comment sections. That shit's funny. I know. I'm sorry. It's funny. Fuck.

[00:35:56] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Actually

[00:35:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: as Demi would say,

[00:35:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Baby,

[00:35:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: [00:36:00] I'm sorry, I'm not sorry.

[00:36:01] Okay. You said so many things that I'm gonna. I agree with you on because there's a couple things. Number one, I'm a big proponent of yes, everybody's like, my parents fucked me up. I'm not saying your parents didn't fuck you up because some people have horrific parents and I understand that.

[00:36:17] I'm not, yeah, that's not, and that's never that person's fault that you're, that you were born to these people and they were terrible. But you also sometimes have to In order to heal like you're talking about you have to look at your parents This is also ancestral healing even if your parents are still alive like you have to look at their situation and be like What happened for my parent to be so horrific ?

[00:36:39] Now, again, if your parent was so horrific that you can't do that and you just can't deal with it, Understandable. Do not, if it's gonna cause you more pain. But, sometimes, you have to meet people where they're at. And like you said, some people have tools and some of them are Fisher Price tools. And they are second hand Fisher Price.

[00:36:58] And like,

[00:36:58] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Duct tape [00:37:00] together.

[00:37:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: They're, yeah, they are duck paint, they are barely holding on. So it's like, I think of my own parents sometimes And things that i've been through with them and then I look when they tell me stories of their childhoods and their lives Sometimes i'm like I get it I get I see what you did there and I see why you did it like because This shit happened to you and that was horrific and nobody ever helped you through that.

[00:37:21] I get it So i'm gonna like I can am I my parents? Big up to my parents who have been very open with me as an adult about their lives and like I can see a lot from that And have learned they've learned themselves. So like they've done work. So I'm proud of them but also Yeah, sometimes you have to meet people where they're at Sometimes if you're able to do that in your journey, not everyone is not okay But yeah, and that's fine.

[00:37:48] And then also what you said is important And I believe this, and I hope nobody gets mad at me either for saying this. I also believe this about therapy, like about traditional therapy. I have a friend. A few friends who are [00:38:00] therapists and one of them told me like if somebody's coming to me for five years and they have seen no progression I'm not helping them like they shouldn't come back like and it's the same thing with spirituality Therapy is a tool But it's to help you find ways to cope yourself, right? Like,

[00:38:18] it's, yeah, it's so that you can learn. Some people, when people say this person needs to go to therapy. I'm like, yeah they, that person needs to go to therapy and that's great. I've been to therapy. It's great. I really enjoyed it.

[00:38:29] But then we came to a point where I was like, actually, I think I'm fine now. And my therapist was like, great.

[00:38:35] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Exactly. See, it's like, let's think about it as if life

[00:38:41] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is a car. Yes. And

[00:38:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm

[00:38:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm constantly taking my car into the shop.

[00:38:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Right?

[00:38:48] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Now, there's maintenance that needs to happen on our car. Yes.

[00:38:53] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:38:54] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: need to get an oil change. Every so often, right? Yes. And I have tools at home. But there's a guy at [00:39:00] the shop over here.

[00:39:01] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: He's

[00:39:01] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: got tools, too.

[00:39:03] He's got really good tools. I can pay this guy

[00:39:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[00:39:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to do the repairs on my car, and it's fine.

[00:39:13] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[00:39:15] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Especially if it's

[00:39:16] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: an

[00:39:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: oil change, right?

[00:39:18] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: We

[00:39:19] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Every so often we need to go get some maintenance done. Yes. And whether that's talk therapy,

[00:39:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: going

[00:39:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to a breathwork circle,

[00:39:27] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: going

[00:39:28] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to an ecstatic dance thing. Yeah.

[00:39:30] Whatever it is, whatever's your bag.

[00:39:31] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[00:39:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Whatever refills your soul. Exactly. Gives you

[00:39:35] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:39:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: fluidity, the, what's the lubrication

[00:39:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: To

[00:39:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: go about your life. The

[00:39:41] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: with

[00:39:41] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: ease. Yes. The resistance to things.

[00:39:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: That's

[00:39:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: great.

[00:39:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: But

[00:39:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: if you're taking your car in all the time to get the transmission rebuilt, and the dude is like,

[00:39:56] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Trying to

[00:39:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to show you how to do this

[00:39:58] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: with the

[00:39:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: with the tools you [00:40:00] have at home, and you refuse to do it, then

[00:40:06] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that's

[00:40:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that's on you.

[00:40:09] Either use the tools, or

[00:40:11] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: That the

[00:40:11] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the guy's been coaching you on because that's like major repairs. That's what therapy's for.

[00:40:16] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: That's what

[00:40:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: what those massive experiences that we're looking for in transformative healing is so that I don't have to have the transmission problem anymore and I can go and get oil changes.

[00:40:30] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Like

[00:40:31] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: But if I'm refusing

[00:40:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:40:34] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: tools that the mechanic is showing me how to use, And I don't use them in my life and I keep coming back to him. Yes. And he's my master now. Hey, I'm never going to be here.

[00:40:50] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:40:50] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I belong to that person now. No, thank you.

[00:40:54] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Is that the

[00:40:54] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: That's the relationship that you want. Exactly. And some people do and that's okay.

[00:40:58] Yeah. And [00:41:00] that's fine. However, it's not healing. No.

[00:41:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:41:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And so either

[00:41:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: fix the

[00:41:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the car yourself

[00:41:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: because that's

[00:41:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that's who has to do the work. Yeah.

[00:41:09] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: You

[00:41:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: You need to fix the car

[00:41:11] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: or

[00:41:11] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: or fuck, buy a new car.

[00:41:14] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Like

[00:41:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: shit.

[00:41:15] Yeah, your car's fucked up. Get a new story because that's what it is. It's

[00:41:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: all

[00:41:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: all story.

[00:41:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Everything that

[00:41:23] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that we have is story.

[00:41:24] It is. None of this shit's actually happening the way we think it is. In fact, you go ask 10 people about the same experience, they're all in the same room, they're gonna give you 20 different answers. Yes. Wow, it's exactly it's so true and like what you said before too about like Causing your own suffering and I was saying this again I was talking to somebody about this and they're like, oh, so you just think everyone's causing their own trauma I said that's not what I said.

[00:41:56] Listen to me Not exactly [00:42:00] like

[00:42:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: words that are coming out of my mouth

[00:42:01] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Exactly like you said before people can do shit to you And that's not your fault that people are assholes and they've done something terrible to you But what you do after is up to you in a way So you can be suffering because something bad happened to you

[00:42:16] but if you choose to then do something destructive because something bad happened to you, that is your fault, because you did it. I'm not saying that you didn't have trauma. I'm not saying that this pain isn't You're not finding ways to work with it. Yeah, I understand a lot of people i've done it myself I've been through shit and then I did some dumb shit after because I didn't know.

[00:42:39] I didn't know how to handle or Go through that pain like so that I could move forward from it. So we've all done it I'm not blaming people but add up you get to a point though where you're like, okay I'm either gonna keep fucking my life up or I'm going to try to find a way whether it's Like for you for me to like [00:43:00] whether it's through spirituality whether it's through traditional talk therapy whether it's through Checking myself in somewhere because this is what I have to do Eventually, you get to a point where you're like, people around you, maybe your family, people who love you are like, you are ruining your own life.

[00:43:16] And you're like, Oh, this sucks. I hate feeling like this all the time. So then when you have that realization, It is then your responsibility to figure out where you're going to go with that. And if you need help, which a lot of us do, whether it's from

[00:43:32] unseen forces or a mental health specialist, it's okay, but then you have to figure it out.

[00:43:38] You have to go.

[00:43:40] Yeah, exactly.

[00:43:41] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the coping mechanisms that you used before in the previous life,

[00:43:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Exactly. Now you gotta use the tools. Yes exactly. That was good.

[00:43:55] Ashley: Hey everybody. So I'm going to use our quick break today [00:44:00] to plug another show that I absolutely love. If you haven't heard of this podcast, you're missing out so if you haven't ever listened to other worldly, Oracle, it's a fantastic podcast that I definitely recommend, especially if you love spirituality, you got some deep research in there and Two wonderful hosts, a Laura and Katie. It's a fantastic podcast. I've actually used their podcast a couple times. To research for this podcast. So I love it. Especially if you listen to our Falbert the episode that we did with hex Marie, they did fantastic research, about fraud birdshot and for a whole lot. Anyway. Here's a little synopsis of the podcast. The other worldly Oracle official podcast is a burning hollows production hosted by two pagan witches Alora and kitty whose main goal in life is to educate Kendra, which folk on all things magical.

[00:44:56] So if that sounds interesting to you, I'm going to put link [00:45:00] in the show notes for this show. And please go and listen to them. They're fantastic. And they're both just generally very nice. So I would suggest listening to the podcast. If you enjoy. This genre. All right. Back to the show.

[00:45:15] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Okay, we're gonna go real quick and talk a little bit about our dish of the week because we're dying with a divine and we have to talk about food sometimes. So our dish of the week because we're gonna talk about I think we're gonna end up Hopefully this won't get too long but this is so good.

[00:45:32] So we're gonna talk about Yeah, this has all been so great. So it's all good. We're gonna talk a little bit about ambrosia Because why not? So ambrosia in the ancient greek Era was seen as like the nectar of the gods, right? But now we have a funny I think it's a midwest Recipe because midwestern people have a lot of recipes that I don't get But midwestern people will tell you it's [00:46:00] delicious and i'm not gonna argue with y'all Because I know some midwestern people in my life and I love them to death So if they tell me it's good, i'll believe them.

[00:46:07] I'm not gonna eat it, but i'll believe them. Yeah, are we talking about the fruit salad? You

[00:46:12] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: with

[00:46:13] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: all the creamy stuff mixed in,

[00:46:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: The

[00:46:15] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the marshmallows, the coconut, so that's It's in the Midwest, but I think it comes from the

[00:46:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:46:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: south.

[00:46:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:46:23] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Okay, maybe it says I don't know but like, okay, so I have a friend and she's from Wisconsin and she Was she makes pretzel salad, which is like it's like pretzels and jello I don't know what the hell is in it.

[00:46:38] I'm not gonna eat it

[00:46:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: region has their own ambrosia.

[00:46:41] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Yeah, probably like but like some of these things i'm not gonna eat them sorry guys i'm just not like I'm, not trying to be rude. I just these things for me. I can't eat them together But this okay this particular recipe I have that I have in the show notes This is from the food network.

[00:46:59] Food [00:47:00] network. We love them we love an iron chef. We have Heavy cream, sugar, sour cream, marshmallows, orange, like the, probably the canned orange, oranges, or maybe you can get fresh clementines, whichever you got. They want you to use fresh pineapple, grated coconut, pecans, or pecans, wherever you're from, how you say it, and then maraschino cherries.

[00:47:24] I don't like cherries either, so I probably won't eat this. Anyway, guys, you just literally just put it all in a bowl and you mix it up and eat it. Refrigerate it first and then serve it, but not my jam, but if you like it, cool. I think someone tried to make me eat it once and I would not. Anyway, I'm done shitting on ambrosia salad.

[00:47:42] Okay. Next! Okay. So when I was like trying to figure out what we were gonna talk about I didn't know what to talk about. So for our like tea time segment you talked about [00:48:00] You I asked you like, oh, what do you like? We were talking about something and then you said You had a phrase you said a static states with ritual thurgy.

[00:48:08] Am I saying thurgy, right?

[00:48:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Theorgy, yes.

[00:48:11] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Theurgy, okay. We talked about theurgy a little bit in a previous episode You but we're going to talk more about it now. What is Theurgy? We're going to reiterate so everybody knows because I didn't even remember. Theurgy, as defined by Merriam Webster, says the art or technique of compelling or persuading a God or God's or supernatural power to do or refrain from doing something.

[00:48:36] Frater, what does this, what does, when you said that to me, I didn't know what you were talking about, to be honest, so I was like, I'm gonna need him to explain what he's talking about, because this is beyond my knowledge, and I need to learn from you. So what does all this mean?

[00:48:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So

[00:48:52] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: So it's all a bunch of fancy mumbo jumbo.

[00:48:56] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that

[00:48:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: says that I work myself up into

[00:48:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: [00:49:00] strangely

[00:49:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: ecstatic states

[00:49:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[00:49:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to commune with the divine in

[00:49:06] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in a

[00:49:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a way that helps illuminate,

[00:49:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: elevate,

[00:49:12] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: or purify the soul

[00:49:14] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: so

[00:49:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: so that I can be within the presence of the divine, right? Typically, when you want

[00:49:20] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: me, typically what people think about when they think about theurgy is they think about it as a counterpoint or a dual pole.

[00:49:29] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to Thaumaturgy. Okay. Now, Thaumaturgy is the working of, like, low magic, typically in some people's parlance in the occult community.

[00:49:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's

[00:49:39] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: like, I'm gonna work a spell to get something Got it. in the material world. Whereas Theurgy, in most people's ideology,

[00:49:48] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: is

[00:49:48] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: an ascension of sorts.

[00:49:50] It's non material. It's moving towards the gods. Now that's

[00:49:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:49:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: typical [00:50:00] ideology of people is like to put it in the simplest terms, theurgy up,

[00:50:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: thaumaturgy

[00:50:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: down,

[00:50:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[00:50:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And it's using a dualistic ideology of spirit, Up, and Cheerio down.

[00:50:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Now,

[00:50:19] I

[00:50:19] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I

[00:50:19] don't operate within that paradigm. I think that they're very interlaced.

[00:50:24] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: There's

[00:50:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: not one that's

[00:50:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: better,

[00:50:28] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: One that's good, one that's evil. It's all the same. It's a big, stupid mix of things happening. And so I operate more in the vein of Iamblichus,

[00:50:41] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: who

[00:50:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is one of the most famous

[00:50:45] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: neoplatonists

[00:50:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: neoplatonists, being

[00:50:48] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:50:48] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: dudes who followed Plato. Oh yeah, we mentioned him too in the episode, but yes, keep going.

[00:50:54] I read a little bit about him. So a lot of people think of the Platonists as [00:51:00] dudes who were anti material, like, This world is evil.

[00:51:06] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: We

[00:51:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: need to work really hard to get out of this trap,

[00:51:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: this

[00:51:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: prison. But that isn't necessarily

[00:51:14] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:51:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: case. If you read into it more, there's

[00:51:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: what

[00:51:19] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I think, and what many other

[00:51:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: scholars

[00:51:23] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that are much brighter, because I don't know if I'd call myself that.

[00:51:28] I'm more like an amateur mythologist. Me too.

[00:51:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: They think that it's

[00:51:33] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it's a little different. I think that the material was not seen as evil. Just maybe the farthest away on the experiential

[00:51:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Spectrum

[00:51:45] from

[00:51:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the pure good. Got it.

[00:51:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So

[00:51:50] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: evil is just

[00:51:53] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: a

[00:51:54] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a factor of distance. Yeah.

[00:51:56] And not even a state that just exists, right? There's not [00:52:00] just evil

[00:52:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that's

[00:52:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that's there.

[00:52:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's a

[00:52:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a conscious decision to move away from the good,

[00:52:08] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[00:52:09] And

[00:52:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: in some cases

[00:52:13] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that's

[00:52:13] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: not even

[00:52:14] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: bad,

[00:52:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: right?

[00:52:16] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: so it's maybe

[00:52:18] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: maybe explorative to explore the shadow or something of that nature. And so evil doesn't really factor in a lot with

[00:52:27] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: my

[00:52:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: paradigm that I work with it. As you find out, you go deeper down in this rabbit hole with magic,

[00:52:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Dualism fades and

[00:52:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: all things are permissible within the spectrum of magic

[00:52:43] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: because

[00:52:43] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: you start shedding The moral norms

[00:52:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: You

[00:52:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: we start shedding some of these things that we cling to

[00:52:51] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that are

[00:52:51] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: are part of story, right?

[00:52:53] Yeah, obviously there are still things that Are important that we you know, you don't [00:53:00] do. Yeah but

[00:53:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:53:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: idea is to shed

[00:53:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:53:05] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: things that are going to generate more suffering from attachment And so in my practice

[00:53:12] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: with

[00:53:13] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: what I said, ecstatic ritual theatry is not necessarily me ascending to gods, but more like me coaxing them

[00:53:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[00:53:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to come down to me

[00:53:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to be a

[00:53:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: as part of the experience.

[00:53:29] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:53:29] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: so a lot of what my work is performative poetry ritual. So there's a set of ritual hymns called the Orphic Hymns.

[00:53:41] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Hymns, and

[00:53:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: they're ritual poetry, supposedly written by the legendary Orpheus. Okay. Now Orpheus was one of the characters

[00:53:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: on the

[00:53:52] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: on the Ergonaut with all the heroes, Jason, Hercules. In a boat full of like ripped buff dudes [00:54:00] who are out there killing fucking monsters.

[00:54:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: You

[00:54:03] this

[00:54:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: this like bard, who's got a heart.

[00:54:08] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:54:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: he goes and does the most like metal fucking thing. , all of them.

[00:54:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's

[00:54:15] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is like

[00:54:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: his

[00:54:17] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: lover, Uranus. Is like trapped in the underworld. Yeah. So dude goes to hell.

[00:54:24] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: of

[00:54:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Of course the underworld is not hell, but I'm just, I'm Yes, I understand what you mean. I'm blowing him up.

[00:54:30] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: inflating him right?

[00:54:31] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm giving him his glow up, right? Yes. He goes to the underworld to face all of this death and darkness and confusion. And with a harp, scarves even the gods to

[00:54:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to a

[00:54:49] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a point where his music is so

[00:54:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: beautiful

[00:54:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that he can transfix even the minds of the gods. And so [00:55:00] what the Orphic hymns are

[00:55:01] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in a

[00:55:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a modern context.

[00:55:04] It's performative poetry that calls on the gods.

[00:55:09] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Or

[00:55:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: or diamonds. Which, doesn't mean demons. And they're like lower deities. That serve a higher deity. And they're usually very functional. It's like I need for instance with Aphrodite, she has many of them. Yeah.

[00:55:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: They're

[00:55:23] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: called the Es or Es. And a lot of them are her children and each one of them functions as a specific aspect of love or passion, like,

[00:55:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Like,

[00:55:33] Pothos.

[00:55:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it's like unshamed passion, like this very primal passion. And so if I need to bring that into my life for whatever reason, maybe I need to enhance my relationship.

[00:55:49] With my partner. To be a little bit more jazzed up than it is like lately, right? Maybe we're too locked into chores and getting shit [00:56:00] done. And I need to bring some of that fire back.

[00:56:03] Maybe there's a hymn for that. There isn't, but I've written one.

[00:56:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: But

[00:56:07] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: The Orca Hymns there's a number of them.

[00:56:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: it's

[00:56:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: different based on the different Translations and variants that have come down. There's 80 something, and I can't remember right off the top of my head. It's Saturday, I don't have to know everything. You don't. You don't.

[00:56:23] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but

[00:56:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: You can basically go to that particular deity, perform the poetry, burn the right incense and essentially invoke, bring them into your body in almost a form of possession.

[00:56:41] Yeah. The Greeks called it divine possession and they saw it differently, right? It's not an Invading force, right? Yeah, you say possession in our world and it's like, ooh no. Thank you. Yeah But if we are made In the image of something [00:57:00] divine. And that divine contains all things. Yes Then so too do we Yeah, so if i'm

[00:57:08] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: am

[00:57:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: asking Aphrodite to possess my body for a time what i'm asking of the universe and of my own self is to embody that.

[00:57:18] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: To

[00:57:18] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: bring that into me so that I can feel what that feels like.

[00:57:23] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: This

[00:57:23] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: isn't a mental game that I'm playing here. This is a body experiment. Yeah. This is me

[00:57:28] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: bringing

[00:57:29] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it into my being. I'm not just this brain. I'm blood, I'm flesh, I'm bone, I'm soul, I'm spirit. Yeah.

[00:57:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: if

[00:57:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I try to conceptualize the divine with just my mind.

[00:57:47] of the other pieces of my experience.

[00:57:51] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: What does

[00:57:51] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: does it feel like in my body when I invite this divine feminine into it? What am I feeling like? I'm not just [00:58:00] thinking about some.

[00:58:01] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: blonde

[00:58:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: bimbo goddess that people try to fake her now in like the modern parlance. Yeah. She's not an Instagram influencer.

[00:58:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: influencer. Okay.

[00:58:12] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: She is. And I think that there's a lot of that influence happening in the modern current. Yeah. People just don't realize it. She's coming back in a big way, baby.

[00:58:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: all I'm saying.

[00:58:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: But

[00:58:27] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: But

[00:58:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that's just one aspect of what, what makes her a very intriguing deity to work with in my experiences. There's so much more to her.

[00:58:35] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[00:58:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: really with all of them. No matter what tradition you're focusing in. And that's the really interesting thing about exploring theurgy. Theurgy.

[00:58:44] Is, it applies to all of the traditions. You can take this same concept. Write poetry.

[00:58:54] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Which

[00:58:54] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is really the language of the divine. And it's one that's missing in our modern [00:59:00] world.

[00:59:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Quite

[00:59:01] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: It's quite evident to me at least. Have you ever seen somebody try to read poetry? It's painful. Because we're not taught.

[00:59:11] We're not taught. And

[00:59:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and then you

[00:59:15] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: then you go and see a poetry jam?

[00:59:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[00:59:17] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And you're like, what is this? It moves.

[00:59:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm

[00:59:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm feeling.

[00:59:23] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: like,

[00:59:24] it's

[00:59:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it's a different part of our brain.

[00:59:27] It's not even just the brain. It speaks to every part of our being.

[00:59:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and it's

[00:59:33] quite literally. Sometimes we

[00:59:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: we think of magic and we're like,

[00:59:36] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I got to

[00:59:36] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I gotta have the candles and I gotta have the

[00:59:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[00:59:39] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: magic circle and I gotta have all the.

[00:59:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and I

[00:59:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And I do all that too.

[00:59:43] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Trust me. It's a

[00:59:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a show.

[00:59:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Like behind

[00:59:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: curtains.

[00:59:48] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Because

[00:59:48] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Cause you gotta keep it silent and all that stuff. But there's candles, there's

[00:59:53] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[00:59:54] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I really play it up.

[00:59:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that

[00:59:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: changes the way that I am, right? I'm not bringing[01:00:00]

[01:00:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Little

[01:00:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: old normie me to the experience.

[01:00:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[01:00:05] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: In this experience I'm trying to elevate my soul Mhm.

[01:00:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: forget

[01:00:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: about

[01:00:11] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: The

[01:00:12] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the other things in my life, like the bill I have to pay later, I have to go to the grocery store.

[01:00:17] Yes.

[01:00:18] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[01:00:18] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And generating the experience of the divine.

[01:00:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[01:00:22] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: so through this performing

[01:00:24] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Of

[01:00:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: this,

[01:00:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: what would

[01:00:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: would seem really ridiculous if somebody was walking by and saw it, which has happened before, because more often than not, I'm performing in my garage.

[01:00:34] I remember one time when I was. I'm

[01:00:38] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: working in

[01:00:39] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: in the Kemetic, the Egyptian current,

[01:00:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[01:00:43] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm reading the Book of the Dead aloud

[01:00:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: As

[01:00:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm descending into the Duat

[01:00:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[01:00:50] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: become an Osiris. And I left the garage door open.

[01:00:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's

[01:00:55] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: It's like 5. 30 in the morning and I'm

[01:00:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm

[01:00:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: [01:01:00] shouting. These barbarous phrases

[01:01:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the gods. And

[01:01:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And people are walking their dog

[01:01:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And they're going,

[01:01:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Oh, that dude's doing some weird shit in there

[01:01:12] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: But

[01:01:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: But did I at all Spend the rest of my day kicking myself about how that guy was thinking.

[01:01:20] No, I did not.

[01:01:24] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: He

[01:01:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: went on about his day thinking about his bills and how he was going to the grocery store. Full circle in our conversation. Exactly. But in a nutshell, that's really what ecstatic ritual is. Yes. Sometimes It's beating on my drum,

[01:01:40] or getting really primal with it, like playing some music and letting my body move

[01:01:45] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[01:01:45] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: working myself up into a state.

[01:01:47] Sometimes it's breathwork. There are certain states or certain kinds of breathwork that

[01:01:53] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: change

[01:01:54] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: your body. Yeah. They make your conscious experience different.

[01:01:58] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[01:01:59] It's a

[01:01:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a way of[01:02:00]

[01:02:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: changing

[01:02:01] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: my material experience and trying to

[01:02:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: harmonically

[01:02:05] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: align with a specific aspect of divinity

[01:02:09] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[01:02:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: order to bring that into my life long term, or sometimes, or a specific request, a petition,

[01:02:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: so

[01:02:20] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to speak.

[01:02:21] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm

[01:02:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: calling on this God and saying, Hey, I really need help with this.

[01:02:25] Zeus. Bro.

[01:02:28] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[01:02:28] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I need some more money. I need some more opportunity in my business. Hermes, help me communicate, bro. Yeah. Like,

[01:02:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[01:02:39] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: so it can be

[01:02:41] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: very

[01:02:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: very beautiful divine spiritual experience,

[01:02:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: be

[01:02:45] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: but it can also be very practical.

[01:02:46] Yeah.

[01:02:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Ritual Theurgy 101.

[01:02:50] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that's ritual, the G 1 0 1. Thank you now I understand. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

[01:02:56] So first of all. I [01:03:00] love that ritual theurgy is a concept that I think most people who have a spiritual practice get, in a totally different way. Like, everyone does it in a different way. And even when you were talking about This I think of the fact I always used to when I was a kid I used to really like to read about saints.

[01:03:20] , and they this is that's basically what a lot of them do when they always talked about they were in ecstasy They were in ecstasy and i'm like, what the hell are you guys doing? Yeah

[01:03:28] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: What is, they're doing drugs?

[01:03:29] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I know I was like wait you guys are doing ecstasy

[01:03:31] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: saint like.

[01:03:34] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: What's happening but it's similar because there it was basically They were in a space where their physical, melted away in their mind, at least.

[01:03:45] And they were completely one with, like, their god or, so it's what you're talking about. And what you're saying, too, and, first of all, if you do it, at least the way I've done it in my past, it's like, it needs to be You need to [01:04:00] know what you're doing because you need to have I always see it as like a gas tank.

[01:04:04] So I put my, not your gas tank, or I don't know, some type of tank. I start to get myself into this mode. And you need to literally get your tank to 1%. This is what I always say. 1%, where it's there's 1 percent of you still maybe lingering. But you're still in the background, even at that 1%.

[01:04:24] You're the observer. Yeah, you are the observer. So you are like, so different traditions do it differently to me. I am very fearful So it takes me it's taken me years to get to a point where I could do it I'm like completely letting go but once you do it's really Wonderful, and I've learned and experienced so many wonderful things, but I always feel like okay There's literally 1 percent of me just watching me And like I tell myself I can grab myself back, but I know i'm in good hands like I know that's not i'm not yeah, it's not that I don't trust them.

[01:04:56] It's just I am fearful of things but yeah when you [01:05:00] get your

[01:05:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: because you want to keep living.

[01:05:01] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Yeah, I don't want to like die But yeah that letting go and letting the spirit of which whoever that you are asking to overtake you come in. It's something like, it's wild. It's so cool. Like,

[01:05:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It is.

[01:05:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it's very cool. And it's very, I'm always just like, wow, thank you for coming into me.

[01:05:34] I know I'm doing all this little old me. I'm so unimportant. And thank you for telling me what you told me because that was crazy. Thank you. But yeah, it's a state and it's just like when people talk about Channeling which is like it depends how people channel it can all be different but people talk about it so casually and I'm always just Are you really doing it if you're talking about it like oh I just like channel all the time and i'm like all the time like Bro, [01:06:00] like I need to go to the grocery store and I need to pay my bills like you just I can't just be out here doing this all damn time It's crazy And I didn't think honestly nor would they want you to be these moments

[01:06:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: this

[01:06:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is a thing that It's very tricky And I think it confuses people at times.

[01:06:23] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: like

[01:06:23] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: we've said, they got bigger fish to fry, right? Their experience is different than ours, but they are very invested

[01:06:32] us.

[01:06:33] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[01:06:34] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: So it's not like, and it's like I was saying

[01:06:36] this is not an invasion. We use words,

[01:06:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but

[01:06:39] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: they're inadequate for the experience, right? It feels like you're overtaken. But that's because

[01:06:48] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[01:06:49] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: observer is no longer the main character.

[01:06:51] Yeah. Like we were talking about before, we're always the main character. That main character gets pushed to the side. Yes.

[01:06:58] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: so that the

[01:06:58] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: So that the divine [01:07:00] can have the experience. So

[01:07:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm

[01:07:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm no longer me.

[01:07:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: In

[01:07:05] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: fact, when I'm performing the poetry, or this could be the same in Tantra, with a mantra.

[01:07:11] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: The

[01:07:11] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the mantra is singing me.

[01:07:13] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: The

[01:07:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: poet, the

[01:07:14] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: is

[01:07:15] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Poem Me. Yes.

[01:07:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[01:07:18] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: It's acting through me. It is an active force. That is

[01:07:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: now

[01:07:22] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: coming into this world. And performing itself. Yeah. For me, it's not me performing it. . It is, but it isn't. It's a paradox and it, they both things are happening and are true at the same time.

[01:07:33] Yes. But those things are always within us. So

[01:07:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[01:07:38] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: word overtaken isn't necessarily conducive to telling somebody about the experience. Cause that's

[01:07:45] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: going to make them

[01:07:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: like, Oh, I don't know about that. Yes, bro. You already have

[01:07:51] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Aries.

[01:07:52] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: or, Just pick a God from any tradition in you. Yes. All you're doing.

[01:07:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: [01:08:00] is

[01:08:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: bringing out that version within you and the messages that you get are for you Yes

[01:08:08] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: They're

[01:08:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: not what that god

[01:08:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: needs

[01:08:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to say to everyone else.

[01:08:12] Yes, that's where people get all fucky with it Is there like I am now the prophet of?

[01:08:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[01:08:19] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: then they get real weird with it really fast. This is one of the things that when you get deeper into these traditions,

[01:08:27] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: you

[01:08:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: you need somebody to guide you.

[01:08:31] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Particularly

[01:08:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: because it seems that the majority of people

[01:08:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that are

[01:08:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: are drawn into these things have unresolved mental health issues.

[01:08:41] Yes.

[01:08:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And when you perform this kind of work,

[01:08:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: You need to be of sound mind and body. Yes. Because weird things happen. Yes. And you have to be able to take that experience, integrate it.

[01:08:56] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's

[01:08:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: like taking psychedelics, right? Yeah. You don't go around thinking now [01:09:00] all those things that I've seen in psychedelics are real and valuable and practical for me to use in real life.

[01:09:06] I

[01:09:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[01:09:07] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: need to integrate that experience

[01:09:09] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Into

[01:09:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: how I'm going to operate in my regular mundane life. Yes. Yes.

[01:09:15] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[01:09:15] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And the same goes with magic.

[01:09:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: if

[01:09:17] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I receive a message

[01:09:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: from a

[01:09:20] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a deity , that's a message for me. Yes. It's not something that I need to go barking out

[01:09:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[01:09:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: everyone else. About how special I am.

[01:09:29] Exactly. Because guess what, bro? I have that same connection to that deity. Exactly.

[01:09:35] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[01:09:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: my message is just as valid. . But it's only valid for me. Yes. It's not valid for you.

[01:09:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Hence

[01:09:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: like, shh. The silence part of magic is very critical. Yeah. Because it's not, while it's performative behind the curtain,

[01:09:53] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: it

[01:09:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: shouldn't be performative

[01:09:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[01:09:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: public.

[01:09:56] Yes. I shouldn't, and even [01:10:00] this,

[01:10:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: where

[01:10:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'm talking about my own praxis, isn't

[01:10:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: meant

[01:10:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to be like, whoa, look at me

[01:10:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[01:10:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: all these cool magical things I do.

[01:10:08] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[01:10:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: try to focus on, whenever I am in this role,

[01:10:12] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[01:10:13] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: be more focused on education than vanity.

[01:10:18] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[01:10:19] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Because

[01:10:20] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I, I

[01:10:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: see it, and I have seen it for years, people get lost

[01:10:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: when they

[01:10:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: when they go down these rabbit holes.

[01:10:27] And it's sad to watch. It's, and it becomes an addiction. Yeah.

[01:10:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: a

[01:10:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: A mental obscurity

[01:10:35] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: of the

[01:10:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the spirit

[01:10:36] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: where

[01:10:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: they get lost in these stories and

[01:10:41] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: There's

[01:10:41] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: no one to really dig them out. Yep. And that's also how sometimes you get a cult leader. Yes. Would you like to join my [01:11:00] cult? We just do poetry. Then you go into cult mode, everybody's naked, and you're like this isn't exactly what you said.

[01:11:19] Don't mind the soap part. That's a title for somebody who got out of a cold. I don't mind the soap part, but can I please sleep? That's a beautiful title. Consent so I'd like to go now and you also took all my money.

[01:11:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Of

[01:11:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: oh Gosh, oh, but thank you so much for sharing [01:12:00] that. Oh So our last part now we're gonna go to and we're just gonna chit chat a little bit little summation about Aphrodite because I know you love Aphrodite.

[01:12:13] I think Aphrodite is pretty cool. She's a lot like Oshun, who is an Aditi I work with a lot but just like the Greek version, which is cool. So she has a lot of names that I didn't realize she had so many other names. One of, yeah, a lot. I'll tell you all the ones that I know. I got.

[01:12:30] Aphrodite is also born from foam, the golden one, far shining, she of the beautiful buttocks, okay girl I know, get it girl the shapeshifter, she who postpones old age, the dark one, the black one, the gravedigger, the queen, lady of the sea, and the black queen so as legend would have it, Uranus got his balls cut off one time and then some [01:13:00] of the sperm, some of the sperm and blood fell into the sea and Aphrodite's like, hey girl.

[01:13:05] I was like, I love mythology so much.

[01:13:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: She just walks out of the balls, see? This

[01:13:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: This is why I love mythology, because what? Like, like, just. Cause anything can happen, and that's why it's amazing. This is why I don't like watching television

[01:13:30] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: About,

[01:13:30] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: like, normal shit.

[01:13:32] If there's like a TV show and somebody's like, and it's about these people, but they like go to the office

[01:13:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[01:13:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: they just like do normal stuff, I'm like, I'm not interested.

[01:13:40] Have you heard mythology?

[01:13:43] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: This

[01:13:44] came

[01:13:45] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: came out of this dude's golden

[01:13:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: balls and

[01:13:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: blood out of the ocean.

[01:13:48] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: That's

[01:13:49] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: what I'm interested in seeing. And then you're like, what?

[01:13:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm not interested.

[01:13:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I always say like, what are we doing in the [01:14:00] world? Why do we make movies about this shit? Cause it's so interesting, like, oh my, Oh, it's so funny.

[01:14:08] My favorite thing too, like with Zeus, right? Like Zeus, literally, Just had to like his mama had to Gaia was his mom and she was like I have to save you from your daddy because he's gonna eat all your siblings So he did eat all his siblings and then all but all his siblings just grew up in his daddy's stomach Which is crazy then years later Zeus came back.

[01:14:30] He's like i'm gonna kill you get all my siblings out and they all came out They were just like full grown gods. I'm like I have so many questions

[01:14:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And so it's all,

[01:14:38] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: It's beautifully stated within metaphor, right? And it's also

[01:14:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: symbolism

[01:14:45] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: in there.

[01:14:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: tell

[01:14:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: To tell us a greater truth about us. And our experience in the world. And how the world is formed and how it's generated. And the

[01:14:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: hierarchy

[01:14:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: of beings.

[01:14:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: there's

[01:14:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: so much to it, right?

[01:14:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Every

[01:14:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: [01:15:00] myth has so much. But let's go back

[01:15:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[01:15:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Aphrodite's myth there, right?

[01:15:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Cause

[01:15:05] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Her origin, all those names, right? Those are powerful words, right? We have the phone born and all of these things. The original Greek, if you can learn how to pronounce those, are great ways to bring her into your being, into your praxis. Her specific Functions,

[01:15:31] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[01:15:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: So if you need a little extra

[01:15:34] Boom in the bed

[01:15:36] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: maybe

[01:15:36] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: call in the one that's genital loving.

[01:15:38] Yeah, right And so she'll bring you In that extra expertise

[01:15:45] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: so

[01:15:45] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that you can be a maestro in the sheets, Poetry Let's exactly

[01:15:50] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: let's

[01:15:51] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: not limit her just to the sexy. Yeah she is so charming

[01:15:58] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[01:15:58] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: capable, there's[01:16:00]

[01:16:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: three

[01:16:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: main aspects that the Greeks talked about

[01:16:03] with

[01:16:03] her. There's Aphrodite Orania,

[01:16:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: which

[01:16:07] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is the, basically the queen of heaven,

[01:16:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[01:16:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the queen of the heavens.

[01:16:12] She's number uno. She that may, bitch. It has! It has!

[01:16:22] As they say, Queen. Yes.

[01:16:24] Then there's Aphrodite Pandemos. Which is like the Aphrodite of the people.

[01:16:29] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: She's

[01:16:30] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the one who's interested in matchmaking.

[01:16:33] Producing love, generation, fertility. The love of all things beautiful. Yeah. The experience of music, of festivity and all these things. And then there's Aphrodite Aurea.

[01:16:48] The goddess of war. Mhm. Now that's one that doesn't get played out much. Yeah. But do not cross her. Yeah. It's not a good idea. The whole Trojan War [01:17:00] was started about this. Yes. It's between her and Athena, and many people had to die because somebody had to cross Aphrodite? Yeah. It's not a good idea.

[01:17:11] Don't do it. But if you want to induce some suffering in your life, go for it. Yes. And what I think is so interesting, and I'm just comparing her to the also like, okay, first of all, she, okay, let me read these other things I have here. So, Also, she, a part of the legend too is that maybe she came ashore on to Cyprus in a scalloped seashell.

[01:17:37] So a lot of people see her with a seashell or coming out of a seashell. She's also to believed sometimes to be originally a Semitic fertility slash war goddess, which she also is a, yeah. So the thing about that I think is really interesting is a lot of different mythologies. The fertility goddess and the war goddess are the same.

[01:17:57] I think that's, yeah, that I, do you know, [01:18:00] do you have an idea about that? Cause I don't.

[01:18:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Okay. So I mean

[01:18:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: my own,

[01:18:05] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: there's how

[01:18:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: do I say this?

[01:18:09] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: without

[01:18:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: appropriating everybody's tradition. Like,

[01:18:14] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: remember

[01:18:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: when I said queen? Yeah. Be that girl. Yes. Like everywhere. In my experience and how it's been,

[01:18:24] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: shown

[01:18:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to me through my own unverified

[01:18:27] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: personal

[01:18:28] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: gnosis, my UPG, is that this is a story that's been playing out for a long time

[01:18:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: with

[01:18:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the same energy,

[01:18:37] It goes back to Mesopotamia, it goes back to the Sumerians, it probably goes back farther than that, Paleolithic times. The idea of the maiden and the warrior It's one that's

[01:18:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: linked

[01:18:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: in humanity, tribally

[01:18:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: tribally

[01:18:55] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: speaking

[01:18:56] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[01:18:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: roles were mixed [01:19:00] in, in, in a small tribe of people. You don't just have women sewing clothing.

[01:19:06] Yeah.

[01:19:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: You

[01:19:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: more than likely have very capable people throughout the tribe, right? And most of these anthropomorphic.

[01:19:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: anthropomorphic shells

[01:19:18] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: We put on the gods,

[01:19:20] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: these

[01:19:20] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: these energetic signatures are just that it's

[01:19:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: our

[01:19:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: reflection of what we see projected through our very limited experience. Yeah. And so I think that it's just developed over time that those two things are similar.

[01:19:38] Okay. The fertility goddess is also some, somebody who's capable in war. It's like a young person, right? Yeah. Also the warrior and the maiden. It's a very common mythic story. Yes. The knight and the damsel. There's a link between the two. Yeah. And

[01:19:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: She's,

[01:19:58] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it's the same in every story whether [01:20:00] you're in Egypt, whether you're in Canaan, whether

[01:20:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Whether

[01:20:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: you're in ancient Sumeria, whether it's Inanna,

[01:20:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Ishtar,

[01:20:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: whether it's Asart, right?

[01:20:10] Whether it's Aset, whether it's Isis in Egypt,

[01:20:14] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Aphrodite

[01:20:15] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: in Greece, Venus in Rome. Yeah. It's the same energetic signature.

[01:20:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: The

[01:20:22] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: only difference that we're seeing is the cultural perspective. Yes. Now, the Romans had a very different view of it

[01:20:30] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: than,

[01:20:30] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: say the Greeks did. Yeah. Than say the Sumerians did. The only differences we're seeing are the ones that those people have. They're not necessarily truths,

[01:20:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but

[01:20:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: they can lead us to exploring more of the fullness of that particular deity's being, right? Now, most traditions, you can play a game of mapping where you're like, okay, so like

[01:20:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Zeus

[01:20:59] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is [01:21:00] also like ball.

[01:21:01] Yes. From Canaan or Zeus Is

[01:21:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: raw

[01:21:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: or not at all.

[01:21:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: like

[01:21:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Because then you get really funky with it. Cause you're like,

[01:21:11] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: is

[01:21:12] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: he as Jupiter? But Zeus is also at the top of the tree. And so like you have to reconcile all these different traditions and how they philosophically thought about these things.

[01:21:23] It is a wonderful mental game that can lead you to just awesome. Realizations about way that divinity expresses itself. Cause that's what it is. Yeah. Stories. It's just divinity expressing itself to us. Exactly.

[01:21:40] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[01:21:41] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: so going back to the warrior maiden and going back to the myth of how she came out of

[01:21:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Oranos

[01:21:48] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: falls, like that's an older myth.

[01:21:54] about her. Now if she came out of his balls that means that she's [01:22:00] pre Zeus. Yes. Which means that she's primordial. Yes. Now most people see her as Olympian subservient to Zeus. Yes. Interesting. She was there before.

[01:22:17] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Now,

[01:22:17] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the myth of her being the offspring of Zeus and Dione is one that's manufactured, I think, by a patriarchal society.

[01:22:26] Yeah. That didn't like the fact that there's this goddess of war and fertility. Yes. And everything, and queen of the heavens. And can charm the dick off of any of the male gods. Yeah. She

[01:22:43] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: owns

[01:22:43] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it. Like, whenever she wants something, she gets it. Yes.

[01:22:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So

[01:22:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I think in a patriarchal society, the myth was manufactured to state that No,

[01:22:54] She's underneath you.

[01:22:56] Yes. And actually, that's my next bullet point [01:23:00] here, is that the Greeks were like her being okay if she came, if she was a semetic, fertility and war goddess, her myth may have originated in like Cypress or Syria or Assyria. And some people believe it's even from like I said pre, like Canaan Israel. The Greeks adopted this and they were like, this whole thing where she's also the goddess of war and sex and baby making is way too much. They're like, this is too much for one person or one goddess. We can't handle this. We're actually just gonna make her a love goddess. And I'm like, why'd you guys water that down?

[01:23:35] That was stupid. Like, just leave it the way it was. Like The

[01:23:39] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: that was a very

[01:23:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: exoteric thing, right? Yeah. That was mainly for

[01:23:43] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: people.

[01:23:43] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: little people.

[01:23:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[01:23:45] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: When you're talking about

[01:23:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[01:23:46] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: mystery traditions, the hidden teachings, it wouldn't have been necessarily the same thing. Yes.

[01:23:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Because

[01:23:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it's not necessarily a competition

[01:23:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: when you

[01:23:56] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to get into that, right? Yes. It's everything is one [01:24:00] expressing itself as these many different stories. And what can we learn from those stories? So a lot of it, they watered it down for the people.

[01:24:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So

[01:24:11] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that there could be some sort of moral

[01:24:13] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: teaching

[01:24:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that could help society function.

[01:24:17] I don't necessarily think it was like some evil male cabal going,

[01:24:20] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: like,

[01:24:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: How do we destroy the goddess?

[01:24:23] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm

[01:24:23] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: sure it was more like

[01:24:25] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: their

[01:24:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: own insecurities playing out.

[01:24:27] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And even

[01:24:29] were

[01:24:29] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: well intentioned, there's still that kind of like, I don't know if I want to be subservient to something that powerful,

[01:24:36] As a mortal being, we all go through that, right? Yes. Again, it goes back to people more than likely are trying to do the best that they can. They think they're doing the best thing, but we're also stupid.

[01:24:51] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: We're really dumb like

[01:24:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: of my favorite occult authors, John Michael Greer, always is like,

[01:24:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: humans

[01:24:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: think we're smart, but we're actually really stupid.

[01:24:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: [01:25:00] We

[01:25:01] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: We really,

[01:25:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: we're

[01:25:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: amazing, incredible, beautiful creatures. But we're like that really smart guy, or girl. That's dumb.

[01:25:10] So smart, you're dumb.

[01:25:12] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: That's

[01:25:12] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Yes. Of the animal kingdom, we're that guy. Yes, we all know somebody like that.

[01:25:17] all the shit that you're doing, you could build all these skyscrapers and simultaneously destroy the world.

[01:25:22] It's incredible. It's crazy. So we do this even to the spiritual path. Yes. We overthink it and we overdo it. And miss it for the simplicity that is really bigger. Yes. Facts, . Yeah, so also, so the Greeks some, sometimes the Greeks would call her the goddess of heavenly love too, to go with that.

[01:25:50] She can. So like you were saying before, which I loved how you talked about how she came before Gzuz, and I've said this on this podcast before, I'm not in [01:26:00] the Gzuz fan club. I am official Gzuz hater. Not really hate, like, I don't hate him, but I just think that, like, enough. Like, every time I read a creep myth, I'm like, enough.

[01:26:12] Enough. Stop trying to seduce and or assault these random nymphs and shit. Stop. Like, enough. And then, Hera always gets and Hera, you're the other one I have a problem with. Because she's always mad at the girl. Why? Your husband is literally a menace to all the Olympians and everybody else

[01:26:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I'm not going to explain away Zeus, but I'm going to explain away Zeus. Like, let's reduce everything. And

[01:26:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Let's remove our cultural conditioning from it for a minute, right? Let's remove the fuckboy title. Okay, cause that's what the myths are telling us. A dude cannot keep it in his pants. That's also not his fault. Because that's his [01:27:00] function. That's his essence. And it continues

[01:27:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: for

[01:27:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: for things to grow.

[01:27:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to,

[01:27:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: check.

[01:27:06] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: He's,

[01:27:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that O. G. big dick energy, right? And

[01:27:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[01:27:11] I'm sorry,

[01:27:12] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: but we're still playing that up quite a bit. Like, you gotta have that, you gotta have that B. D. E. Or you're nobody.

[01:27:20] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[01:27:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: There's that natural drive to do

[01:27:24] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[01:27:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: all, men and women,

[01:27:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[01:27:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: all of nature, there's that

[01:27:29] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: If

[01:27:29] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: you haven't stopped or if you haven't looked around in a while look around everybody's fucking

[01:27:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: All the time.

[01:27:36] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Right now

[01:27:37] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: there's

[01:27:37] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: at least 12 people And the animals was not even getting started there so moose has a very busy job

[01:27:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Has the impetus

[01:27:48] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: For the creation, all things,

[01:27:50] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[01:27:51] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Yeah. It's it is nature to just like get it

[01:27:53] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: on

[01:27:54] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: But like D Okay, all right. If we wanna think that way, and I'm gonna [01:28:00] indulge you for a minute and we'll think that way then what's his wife's problem? Because if she knows you married this man, not a marriage. I know. Exactly. So shut up about it then it's stop assaulting everybody and get mad.

[01:28:12] Because your husband's out here and can't keep it in his pants. Like, you're mad at every woman who sleeps with and you're cursing their kids and stuff. Stop. That's enough. Sarah, Jesus Christ. Like, your husband is the actual problem. And if you are accepting that this is his life's goal, then just leave it alone.

[01:28:30] Go, like

[01:28:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: What is she gonna do about it?

[01:28:33] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Exactly. Nothing you can't do No.

[01:28:38] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: stop

[01:28:38] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: being you. Exactly. I'm like, her needs, like her, needs her own therapist to just chitchat about the issue so she doesn't have to go out and punish everybody. Be like, why'd you sleep with my husband? And they're all like, why'd your husband sleep with me?

[01:28:53] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So

[01:28:54] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: So let's take care of, for instance, right?

[01:28:56] , what's her function, right? What is the idea of [01:29:00] marriage?

[01:29:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Give

[01:29:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: you, right? Let's take the most simple symbol of marriage that we have now, the ring.

[01:29:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Circle.

[01:29:08] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: It's a container.

[01:29:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[01:29:10] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: It's a boundary maker. Now Zeus is boundless.

[01:29:16] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's

[01:29:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: his duty as the container for that essence to create boundaries.

[01:29:24] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Now

[01:29:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: all of Zeus's progeny also have a little Zeus in them too.

[01:29:29] About it. They're out there fucking the world too.

[01:29:32] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Hercules

[01:29:33] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: out there doing all this shit that's

[01:29:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: probably

[01:29:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: not supposed to be done.

[01:29:38] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Hera

[01:29:38] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is that boundary. Saying we gotta, you gotta operate within these bounds.

[01:29:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: She's

[01:29:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the container, the womb of all things that are supposed to come into being. Frater, I'm gonna go with you because I can't. Like, But then we put our human story on it, and

[01:29:59] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And [01:30:00] then

[01:30:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: it becomes comical, right? We're laughing

[01:30:03] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: about

[01:30:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Hera's trauma.

[01:30:06] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[01:30:07] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: She's comparing her trauma to

[01:30:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Demeter's

[01:30:11] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: trauma, and Demeter's like, Yeah, but My daughter was taken by your husband's brother, and so now I'm gonna stop all the fertility, and everybody's gonna die because I'm in a mood.

[01:30:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: until

[01:30:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I get my daughter back. And then Hickey's like, Shit, okay, that sucks,

[01:30:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So

[01:30:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I'll help you.

[01:30:36] And then like half of the world, half of the year will be dead.

[01:30:41] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[01:30:41] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the other half will give flowers,

[01:30:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: so

[01:30:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that you can have your moon.

[01:30:46] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: You

[01:30:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: And have your time of the year, which is like, for God, it's like your time of the month.

[01:30:51] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[01:30:52] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: We're just putting our very limited human experience into

[01:30:55] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: something.

[01:30:55] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that's a divine essence.

[01:30:57] It's

[01:30:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: But it is

[01:30:58] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: comical as [01:31:00] hell. Even the gods can bear their trauma. It's in the human element to them.

[01:31:10] And her is like Demeter, demeter's like actually not really Yeah, Demeter's

[01:31:17] your family is the actual problem She's like so leave me out of your issues. Okay,

[01:31:23] your whole family

[01:31:24] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: You don't know.

[01:31:25] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Exactly she's like we're actually she's like but your side is wild over there and I actually can't Oh

[01:31:38] Oh, gosh, it's see mythology. It's amazing. We honestly could. So also it said that Aphrodite can control Most spirits, but she can control, she cannot control Artemis, Athena, cause you know they don't like each other and Hestia. She's not patient, if you promise her you're gonna do some shit, you better do it, cause you don't have [01:32:00] time for that shit.

[01:32:02] Not about it. Not about it. She loves lovers. She loves sex magic. She loves sex workers. She loves sailors. And people who work on the sea because she came out to sea. Sometimes she, yeah, sometimes she loves a little mermaid. She can wear a robe that has stars and roses on it. She loves She has sometimes like fishing nets and a magic belt that has a love magnet on it.

[01:32:26] What did I even write that? I don't know.

[01:32:28] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Yeah, no, it's her magic girdle.

[01:32:30] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Okay, she has a magic girl guys, that's pretty I want a magic girdle Yeah

[01:32:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: instagram beauty right she got them roles

[01:32:45] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: She sure does. She's a curvy girl and I'm all about it. Good for her. I love it.

[01:32:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: irresistible

[01:32:54] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Anyway, anytime. Her colors are yellow, gold and copper and black. She loves [01:33:00] wildlife. She really likes birds, like all sorts of birds. Loves them birds. Doves and sparrows and swallows and swans and geese.

[01:33:09] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: go to her apartment there's bird cages everywhere She's

[01:33:14] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: She's a bird girl, oh no!

[01:33:16] I know, she's a bird girl, she has them everywhere. She also loves bears and bees. Deer. Dolphins. Goats. Leopards. Lions. Rabbits. Toads. Turtles. And wolves. So all days, all the animals, she's really into animals. She's, she was that girl who, like the zoo trip was her trip of the year and we're about it.

[01:33:36] She probably, she was that kid who tried to let the zoo animals out. She's we're free. So she was that girl. , her time is a summer solstice. She has a couple different sacred places. One is in Cyprus, one is on the Ionian island of cytheria. Okay, Cytheria. Near where they think It's pronounced Cytheria, you're good.

[01:33:55] Okay. And they think this is where the sperm fell in [01:34:00] the ocean from the balls. And they also said that this is where Aeneas built a temple for her, that's her son. Also in Corinth and Rice Sisley she loves offerings of frankincense, myrrh, perfumes, roses, honey, and wine because who doesn't like all those things?

[01:34:18] Honestly they're all

[01:34:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: too long didn't read,

[01:34:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Yeah Everywhere And we love it. Every aware that there's somebody fucking and

[01:34:34] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: She is

[01:34:35] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: there . Exactly. She's cheering you on. She has like her hand in there, . And this is like one of the things, like we, we've put her in this box of love, right? . And it's like, oh, what is it? She comes out on Valentine's Day or, and then you got the cutesy little angel, like Cupids.

[01:34:55] Yeah. Her sons, but, what do we do probably more often [01:35:00] than almost all the other things? even Zeus! We fuck him!

[01:35:06] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: like

[01:35:06] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: That's what most things are doing, all the time. And yet we put her in this box of non importance. And it's it's just not good. No, she's, I'm more than just like, okay. So it all ropes back to again.

[01:35:22] And also I thinking about the Yoruba Goddess Ocean in the same kind of category with Aphrodite. 'cause people like, oh, she's a love goddess, where she's like a sex goddess. But the thing is it's more than just sex. When you talked about po this all goes with everything you said. You talked about poetry and all that kind of stuff.

[01:35:39] It's also about sensuality and the power of but, the power of being charming, almost, to get what you need, a lot of, in, in Oshun's Legends 2, she literally was the smallest, and they thought the most insignificant, because they're like, oh, you just do love shit, but she saved the whole nation, and her whole, [01:36:00] community, because she was just like, I know how to talk to people, And everyone else was like war fighting she's like, but I know how to chat and you guys seem to not everyone is so mad Hold on.

[01:36:11] Let me go to have a talk like so That sensuality it comes in play in more than one way. It's not just about being sexy, but it's about being able to make things happen because you know how to talk and how to deal and how to Handle people in a very sacred beautiful way, and it's not

[01:36:30] it's not about tricking It's about I don't know It's bigger than that and I feel like people reduce these goddesses of love to just like they love or like they're just about sex No, they're about like so much more like they're about how you can communicate with people in a different way To also be effective.

[01:36:48] That's exact. That's at least what I think

[01:36:50] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Love is what drives it all. That's what drives,

[01:36:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: So it drives the divine bus, right? Hong Kong. Yes.

[01:36:58] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: you

[01:36:58] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: even the Christian [01:37:00] conception of God loves the world,

[01:37:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: right?

[01:37:03] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Without that love, there's nothing, right? Love spurns us to do everything.

[01:37:11] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Our

[01:37:12] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Our enjoyment of our hobbies, our enjoyment of the people in our lives all the things that we do for love.

[01:37:19] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So

[01:37:21] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: why have we,

[01:37:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: as

[01:37:23] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a society, put these goddesses of love in a box?

[01:37:28] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's

[01:37:28] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: because we're afraid. We're afraid to be what we are because we're afraid of rejection. That's really what it boils down to. And we're ashamed of the fact that we need love. It makes us feel weak. But it shouldn't. That's one of the things that

[01:37:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I've

[01:37:48] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: gleaned from my practice with

[01:37:50] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Aphrodite

[01:37:51] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: is to love myself.

[01:37:54] Really, truly love myself. And from that, then I can begin to love [01:38:00] others. In a

[01:38:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in a

[01:38:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: way that isn't transactional. I love you because you give me this. That's not fair. No, I need to love you. I don't even like

[01:38:16] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Use

[01:38:16] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the word need or good. But I'm going to have to because I don't have another word for it.

[01:38:24] Yeah. Love should be

[01:38:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: unconditional.

[01:38:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Yeah. And that's a challenge for us. It is. Because it's like, feel like I'm giving you something. But I'm not. Yeah. A real. experience with love is to gaze upon something else,

[01:38:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: something

[01:38:48] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that is not yourself, and have appreciation for it. Yeah.

[01:38:53] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: I

[01:38:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: I don't have to give it anything.

[01:38:56] All I have to do is appreciate. Yeah. Accept it for [01:39:00] what it is. That's the act of love. And if Aphrodite, any goddess of love is teaching us anything. core is to be in appreciation. That's why there's also the tie to like poetry, like you said,

[01:39:18] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[01:39:18] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: festivity, enjoyment, pleasure,

[01:39:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: like

[01:39:23] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: all these things. We're supposed to be here to enjoy this damn thing.

[01:39:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: not

[01:39:27] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: We're not supposed to be here to not enjoy it. Yes. Get out there and start enjoying. Appreciate the shit. Yes. Woo! Woo! It was created for our enjoyment.

[01:39:42] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So

[01:39:42] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: that God could come down here,

[01:39:44] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[01:39:44] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: you, and enjoy the world. And enjoy all these fuckin crazy ass stories.

[01:39:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Because

[01:39:51] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: We have our stories of gods cutting each other's balls off, but they're watching our show, and so they're like, what have you been doing?

[01:39:59] And [01:40:00] I'm like, I'm gonna tune

[01:40:01] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: in

[01:40:01] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: in to the latest episode of you.

[01:40:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: So

[01:40:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: play it up for them. Another thing last thing I have to say that we have gleaned from this show, I feel like, is that we need more words in the English language to describe some of the stuff we're talking about. Because, we don't have proper words for some of these concepts!

[01:40:26] I know! I'm a writer, and it's like, I still

[01:40:30] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: fail

[01:40:30] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to come up with the words, but that's just the human experience. Yes. Words are our best friend. Way of communicating, like, or the one that we've thought is the best,

[01:40:40] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: you

[01:40:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: More often than not, they say we're communicating through body language and all other different ways,

[01:40:45] But

[01:40:46] words are the way that we've chosen

[01:40:49] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: to

[01:40:49] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to try and communicate concepts to each other.

[01:40:52] And it's just,

[01:40:53] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: it's

[01:40:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: limited. It is. it. Sure. English is quite flexible though. It's, we have some [01:41:00] words. We need a couple new ones though.

[01:41:01] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: When

[01:41:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: we make them all the time. Yeah, we do. Just like sl like we made that

[01:41:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: unfortunately. Unfortunately.

[01:41:11] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Oh. So this has been an absolutely wonderful conversation. Frater, thank you so much. This was so fun. I learned so much from you. This is great Can you tell everybody where they can find you on the internet if they want to see you know what you like to do?

[01:41:31] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Absolutely.

[01:41:32] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: So my current hub so frater od Is my magical motto and have a mundane life outside of that.

[01:41:43] I don't talk about it much, but

[01:41:45] As a magical person

[01:41:47] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: and

[01:41:47] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: author, you can find me at magic,

[01:41:50] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: M

[01:41:51] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a g i c k dot social. That's my new hub that I've been building.

[01:41:57] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's,

[01:41:57] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a conglomerate of things. [01:42:00] Number one,

[01:42:00] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: it's

[01:42:00] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: like Facebook and Reddit

[01:42:02] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: had

[01:42:02] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: a baby,

[01:42:04] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but

[01:42:04] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: no algorithm. Okay, neat. You can come on there. Make a profile, join groups, talk on forums, and it's all free.

[01:42:15] But I wanted to create a space that was free of the traditional social media

[01:42:20] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: for us

[01:42:20] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: to talk about these things and not have to fight through an algorithm

[01:42:26] Or, have to deal with influencers and all that kind of stuff so that people can get down to What their practice is about, to learn and grow from each other, a place that's about education and vanity.

[01:42:39] And it also contains

[01:42:41] an occult magazine that I drop articles on and I have other people who are creating with me now too. So that comes out every,

[01:42:48] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's

[01:42:49] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: been every holy day

[01:42:51] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: on

[01:42:51] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: the eight spoked wheel of the year. Okay. The next one will be Beelchina.

[01:42:58] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: so

[01:42:58] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: right around May [01:43:00] 1st. And then I'm hoping to do that more regularly these days, but we also have a Codex of

[01:43:07] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: Correspondences

[01:43:09] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: and things.

[01:43:09] It's like an occult Wikipedia. Okay,

[01:43:12] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: but

[01:43:12] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: wow. But it's all created by the community. Cool. Mostly it's just me right now, but. Screaming into the void of the internet. What the sun means.

[01:43:22] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: That it's, this is what the

[01:43:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: The occult path will take you to screaming into

[01:43:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: the

[01:43:26] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: void of the internet. About what the sun's symbolism is. Dear internet, what the sun means. And so the site has a lot of different wheels and functions, but

[01:43:40] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: it's

[01:43:40] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: built as the, what I saw were the failings. of the occult and spiritual community online, where one of the things I wished I had access to when I was starting.

[01:43:55] Okay. A bringing together of people of minds and traditions, [01:44:00] not to fight over who's the smartest, but to learn, as Socrates says, through questioning. Yeah. Okay, tell me more about that

[01:44:10] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: like you've told me.

[01:44:11] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Like you've been very Socratic throughout this entire thing. What can I learn from you? Yeah What can I do learn from listening?

[01:44:19] listen more

[01:44:20] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: And

[01:44:22] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Yeah, and that was the whole goal. And so That's where they can find me. Two of 'em didn't read

[01:44:26] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: magic. social.

[01:44:31] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: Oh gosh. Oh all of that will be in the show notes. So anybody wants to go there? Please go there, see what's going on. It sounds like a great time. I'll be there. So this is awesome. So thank you again od for coming and. We will, yeah, of course. Anytime. You can come back too. We

[01:44:52] can

[01:44:52] frater-o-d---he-him-_1_03-30-2024_080836: It's

[01:44:53] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: talk again. Yeah, I'm glad it's been a blasty blast.

[01:44:56] As always, you're listening to Dine with the Divine and you can find us on most of the [01:45:00] socials except for Twitter. I don't really know. I don't understand that. So I don't go in there, but yeah. So you can yeah, you can go on the website we have merch and other fun things going on and we have our Membership program if you're into that and if you want to follow me ashley, i'm at sankofa hs and that's instagram threads facebook and sankofa healing sanctuary.

[01:45:24] squadcaster-dg7h_2_03-30-2024_100836: That's like the long name for it. Anyway, we're all done We'll see you guys next week. Thank you so much. Bye. Bye

[01:45:32] ​